We're Fighting Oppression in Exactly the Wrong Way

I think I've identified why I feel so uncomfortable saying that I'm a feminist, why I don't feel right when I talk about how white privilege is so harmful.  It presumes that the problem with sexism is sexism, whereas the problem with sexism is oppression.

Racism is not the problem, oppression is the problem.
Sexism is not the problem, oppression is the problem.
Religious discrimination is not the problem, oppression is the problem.
Speciesism is not the problem, oppression is the problem.

For every victory that any particular cause achieves (civil rights, gender equality), another oppressed group loses that much solidarity and momentum, and their plight will become that much more difficult.  The only way for the oppressed to unilaterally find justice is for the oppressed to stand against the *concept* of oppression, by understanding why it exists at all--not why it exists on spectra of gender, race, or religion.  Until we finally address the root of all discrimination and hate, we'll simply sever the ties between the different groups of oppressed people.  Those with less influence will continue to be oppressed, and the formerly oppressed groups will continually fail to recognize that the oppression was not only their own.

A few words for Frank Wolf

Francis Lapointe, known as Frank Wolf, was a man inspired by aesthetic beauty.  He was a model.  He spent a lot of time decorating his body.  He shattered conventions of style, and of gender, in an attempt to convey his perception of the corporeal.

On the Internet, including his facebook page, he put himself on display.  He made himself vulnerable to critique, to objectification, to the poring eyes of countless strangers.  Regardless of the obstacles he would have known he would face, it was something that he found meaning in.  He was courageous enough to put himself out on the Internet for this vision.

He was harassed.  He committed suicide.  He was 31 days older than me.  He died at the age of 20.

Honesty

Part of me wants to be a completely honest person.

Another part of me looks at all of the cases where reality is too dark.

I used to look in the mirror and understand what I saw.  I could read my eyes, see my emotion.  I knew exactly what was looking back at me, and not because I was monitoring my internal mental state, but because my face was legible.  My eyes were telling.  The window to my soul was ajar.

Now, when I look in the mirror, I can't read myself.  I'm so covered up by complex experiences and emotions that the sheen over my face, especially my eyes is opaque.

It's disconcerting.

Populating Meaning, ?%

At this point in my life, my interactions with other people start to mean things.

I am no longer complaining that my existence is banal and trivial.  My life now has significance.

Safeties off, as I've forgone the nets that I could always return to.  I'm far too proud for that.  I refuse to accept any role that takes away my agency.  I am avidly the expression of my soul.

There is a lot more gravity in life than I am used to.  Fiction expands the horizons of my mind, and exploration in the knowledge of my own world grounds those shining imaginative comprehensions in the world that I can affect.

I am far too sensitive to that gravity.  I process my perceptions deep in my soul, perceiving events and circumstance at my core, internalizing the events of the world as the events of my world.  I am not separate or distinct from the world that I witness.  I am not a bystander, and I cannot evade responsibility.

Now, as I begin to enter the adult world, I feel the weight of everything that I can see, as if I have to find the golden bullet to cure all of our ills.  I can't separate myself from the future that we can so easily predict.

I want to know everything so that I can do everything.  So that I can save the world from the evils we agree are evils.  So that I can absolve the damned of their cruel fates.  So that I can find a way to escape the vicious cycle of hate.

Race

What are my privileges and responsibilities as a person of German heritage who doesn't identify with any given race?  What do I have to do as a middle-class Caucasian man to be a moral participant of a cosmopolitan society where there is economic and social disparity between different demographics?  What is there for me to do so that I will not be guilty for the sins of people who share my skin color?  What is the attitude that I should take towards questions of race?

I just want to do what brings peace to the world.  And everybody is so angrily adamant about questions of race that I don't know how to approach the issue any more.  I try not to think about it, and to only do things that I know will bring into the world more justice, peace, prosperity, truth, and liberty.  But at the same time, I don't want to inadvertently wrong people because my inaction allows a broken system to continue subjugating people.

I don't understand how the abstract statements by social activists translate into an actual way of life, because those perspectives depend on a broken system to exist.  I haven't come across a worldview that gives me insight into how I should act - only insight into how I shouldn't act.  And those opinions are so diverse and contradictory, I can't find the positive space between all of the negative space.  I don't know what side of what line I should stand on.

Why I Have Like Having Long Hair

Many people ask me why I don't cut my hair.  It's an innocent question that causes me to be infuriated at the culture that raises people to believe in the sanctity of sexual dichotomy.  Here are some reasons that I do not cut my hair to make it short:

I like the feel of running my hands through long hair.

I like how it falls on my neck and shoulders.

I like having something to groom.

Despite the fact that it frequently looks messy and unkempt, which causes me insecurity and makes me feel uncomfortable in social situations, I like the way that it can look when I treat it well.

I hate gender norms.  The fact that having long hair is considered womanly by my culture encourages me to have long hair.

Having long hair as a man functions as a social litmus test.  The things people say about my hair give me insight into their participation in cultural norms and their aesthetic judgments.

I don't feel obligated by convention to get my hair cut, and I don't foresee making it short.  End of story.

Initiating Summertime Activities

There are some things you just can't force.  Inspiration doesn't come because you ask for it.  Friendships don't become intimate overnight.

You have to be diligent.  And patient.  Because when you invest in something that matters, it's going to pay off.

This summer, I'll be putting in some more work of my own to make some progress towards some of the bigger, more important things I must do.

With a handful of people who like asking big questions and finding answers, I will spend a nice chunk of my time thinking about the future.  Not just my own future, either.  I just obtained a research position with the Dean of my university's Honors Program, with the goal of developing an educational platform to teach about the importance of the 21st century from the perspective of the divergent future societies it might lead to.  And he's interested, as am I and as are these other social entrepreneurs of sorts, to get started on the thinking before the academic year begins.

I'll be taking 3 summer classes to make necessary progress on my academics.  Those shouldn't take up too much time.  Fundamentals of Cell & Developmental Bio, Intro to CS, and Calc II.  So... more basics courses that I have to cover just to be mildly educated in the fields I want to weave together.  Diligence and patience.  Should keep that in mind.

I'll be learning how to art.  I've already collated a few resources that I'll be able to process once I've moved in to my first rented house.

But before I can get involved with any digital art, I'll have to solder the inside of my drawing tablet back together.  That necessitates organizing the basement of our new house into a fantastic hackerspace and second bedroom.

I'll watch some anime, play some video games, read some books.

I also have a few projects that I plan to undertake, but which are of the utmost secrecy (mostly because they're the sort of niche things that nobody would care to hear about anyway).

WHOA I don't know yet which will be the most fun, because all of it seems pretty enticing.  This will be a good summer.

Once I've moved out and senior week is over, I'll reflect properly on the school year that's almost behind me.

Don't Be Prejudiced

People with prejudices are stupid.

No, really, it's been proven scientifically with a sample of 15,874 people.

http://pss.sagepub.com/content/early/2012/01/04/0956797611421206.abstract