Not Different Worlds

I am in the world of the Eiffel Tower.

I am in the world of my ex-girlfriend's bed.

I am in the world of my soulmate.

I am in the world of factory farms.

I am in the world of out-of-shape hippies.

I am in the world of indescribable torture.

I am in the world of the oval office.

I am in the world of terrorism and ideologies of hatred.

I am in the world of my college friends.

I am in the world of hope and aspiration.

I am in the world of frat parties and booze.

I am in the world of art and literary criticism.

I am in the world of research

I am in the ivory tower of academia.

I am in my mind.

I am in my body.

I AM OVERWHELMED.  The emotions are all too much for me, and the only way I can respond is to caress each one softly as I store it in the center of my mind, amidst thoughts of today, wishes for tomorrow, and dirges for the past.  I ruffle the sensations of each moment, as I might the fur of a wounded animal.  Most of them are the extensions of empathy; although I myself have known sorrow, I am not in nearly as woeful a plane as the myriad individuals who suffer, actually, daily.

I am perpetually surrounded by a stucco flash of the images in my memory and imagination.  Walking up a road in my hometown at night.  Driving home as the sun rose after my graduation day.  Waiting in the dark on so many occasions.  Riding the bus with friends and without.  Freezing happily at marching band competitions.  Painstakingly typing away at high school masterpieces.  On my computer screen, a blindfolded man having his head sawed off, or the smile of a soldier stabbing a prisoner to death.  Extrapolations to what the constant violence in Karachi, Newark, or Homs looks like.  Verbal depictions of two Japanese cities being destroyed by a nuclear bomb.  Walking alone down the road in my college town.  Singing my heart out in an unpacked lecture hall.

I meditate on this.  There is so much humanity that one person can see in such a short amount of time.  I can't help but feel remorse for every one who turns away from the images, and who doesn't create them.  There is so much to be gained from the challenge of sorting through the human psychological response to enlightenment and revelation.

I feel once again engaged with the world.  I must take all of what I feel and know and direct it towards finding truth.  I will advocate peace and create liberty.  I will seek inspiration and knowledge.  I will create and accomplish.  I will one day find the kinds of happiness that come to those who are patient but diligent.  I will do my best to placate the entanglement of life inside my memory, sustaining it with every breath.